Remember that post about questions you hate hearing as a pregnant woman?

Yeah, well there’s stuff you get sick of hearing as a new mom.

-What’s her name?
-Is she sleeping through the night yet?
-Do you get much sleep?
-Is she in daycare?
-How are you dealing with her being in daycare?
-When are you going to start (insert milestone or outdated practice or something I just plain don’t intend to do.)
-How does your husband feel about having a girl? (“He says boys make better offerings to our lord Satan, but she’ll have to do.” WHAT? She’s gotta be inferior to my husband because she’s a girl?!?!?!!? WTH kind of outdated Medieval perception is THAT?)
-Do you have any pictures?-When can I babysit?
-Don’t worry, you’ll get sick of her.
-You’ll need help.
-You’ll need a break.
-Yeah, when that happens, you’ll be BEGGING me to babysit.
-She’s crying because she’s hungry/her diaper’s wet/she doesn’t like me. (No, she’s crying because she’s a baby!)
-You think it’s hard now? You just wait.
-Girls are terrible because they turn into teenagers. (Always said by a WOMAN.)
-Can you say (insert word)? (No, she’s 2 months old. And her first word will either be “dada”, “mama”, or “shit” thankyouverymuch.)
-In my day, the husbands didn’t help.
-You must feel so guilty for working.
-When I had MY babies…

I’m not a patient person. I’m not exactly homicidal, but I could be. The mood stabilizers help, but the complete lack of energy also keeps me from doing more than replying in a snarky way. I’m cool with that for now. I’ll get tons of unwanted input on my parenting choices for the rest of my life from nose-stickers-in. I’ll enjoy being rude to them. I get a sick satisfaction from it. No shame!

About mrsalicia

I am a Paralegal at a small criminal defense and personal injury firm in my small town. I graduated from Western Washington University with a BA in Political Science and Philosophy. I have my Paralegal Certificate, as well. I write a blog in my spare time. I am married to a wonderful man and recently gave birth to a beautiful little girl. View all posts by mrsalicia

5 responses to “Remember that post about questions you hate hearing as a pregnant woman?

  • Marci

    I think this just completely reinforced my fears of ever talking to anyone pregnant or with a baby, but I hope you’re doing well and I hope Tom & baby are too.

    • Marci

      It probably also means I need to come up with a new list of questions for pregnant/new moms to avoid making their Hate List. I’m thinking of questions that compare motherhood to pet ownership, because there’s nothing offensive or obnoxious about that, right? 😉

      “Oh my gosh I know just what it’s like, I hate leaving Lyra everrrr”

      “Does Charlotte crawl on all fours yet? Because Lyra did at that age”

      “Does Charlotte stare at you petulantly for hours when you’re late on a feeding? Because Lyra does that”

      “Is Charlotte shedding a ton? Lyra’s doing that and I thought we were all done for the season. Oh you know how it is with them, though. Always with the shedding.”

      “Can Charlotte sit on command yet? How about shake? When are you planning on teaching her to do her business outside? You know you gotta start with that young, right?”

      • mrsalicia

        LMAO Oh, yeah, you should totally do that! 😛 The upside about this post is that not all of these make me want to stab the people asking. Just a few of them. And I don’t want to stab the people who ask this once or twice and then move on. But the people who ask these same questions every single day need someone to push their reset button.

      • Marci

        Fair point, but I don’t think it makes me any less terrified to ask about Charlotte & how you’re doing

      • mrsalicia

        “How are you guys doing?” is vague and perfectly acceptable. It opens up all kinds of avenues, like talking about her moods, her faces, her accomplishments, stuff like that. Stuff I’m glad to share.

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