Monthly Archives: October 2013

Sleep is for the sane and non-knocked up.

Baby girl does NOT have a cleft palate. She’s just perfect. (Take that, mean OB/GYN!!! How darest thou judgeth me whenst thou clearly doth not understand how, if I’m off my medication, I go batshiz crazy??? This I did express to thee and thou choseth to judge me anyway. In plain English, neener neener neener!)

I’m in a weird mood. I’ve gotten about 5 hours of sleep over the last two nights. I’m in a good deal of pain, what with the stretching of my stomach to accommodate my sweet little girl, the leg cramps I suffer from every night, the pain in my lower back and my knee from all the added weight, and persistent headaches. And I’m feeling a bit emotionally disconnected from people I love. I find myself often thinking negative things. Nothing dangerous, really. I try to self-correct, but I’ve never been much for the Behavior Modification theories on dealing with Bipolar. Why? Because I refuse to say that there is anything wrong with the way I think. Sure, it’s sometimes destructive, but that’s what the meds are for, amiright? (The answer to that, in case you’re wondering, is yes. I don’t care if you disagree. Wires being crossed funny in my brain does not denigrate the way my thoughts are formulated. No matter how irrational.)

I’m relieved that our little one is doing well. I’m just so ready for it to be March already. I love feeling her kick and wiggle. I love that she moves around all the time and that she is healthy. But I am ready to hold her and launch into that frightening adventure that is parenting. I want to hear crying and giggling and cooing. I want to see her yawning and sticking her tongue out. I want to know her. I have fewer than 19 weeks left, which really doesn’t seem like much. But the first 19 weeks dragged by. And two of them, I hadn’t even conceived yet!

Now that the birth boards have calmed down a bit, I’m rather enjoying them. These ladies say the funniest things. Sometimes when I’m feeling down, they really pick me back up. There was an entire thread about curing constipation by being more adventurous in the bedroom. All conversations eventually lead to talking about food, sharing pictures of sexy men, or posting memes about unicorns and pooping glitter. I’ve learned so much about pregnancy from these women, and they’ve shared parts of their lives with me. I’ve shared parts of mine with them, and they’ve been incredibly supportive. Most of the time. There’s the occasional heinous comment or judgmental know-it-all or weirdly religious person who insists that anything but missionary is a sin against God. And the threads about vaccinating, circumcision, and abortion NEVER go well. So I avoid those unless I’m already angry.

Life is relatively calm. I’ve got a few highly emotional things in the works, but they don’t just apply to me and, for the privacy of others, I won’t reveal them on a blog. But I get to go home to a cat who ignores me, sometimes a husband who adores me (or he’ll come home two hours later), and today, I will go home to a 15 minute wait for a large pepperoni and sausage pizza. Don’t judge. I’m freaking starving.

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Got the Quad Screen Results!

Baby girl is just fine! The results show everything is normal. No trisomys, no spina bifida. What a relief. I’m still a little worried about a cleft, but I’m getting many assurances that she looks normal. Personally, I think she looks absolutely beautiful. I can’t wait to see her sweet little face in person!


Anatomy Scan Results!

Our little baby is a little girl!!! We could not be more excited. We were so hoping for a girl, but would have been thrilled with a boy, too.

She’s measuring in the 37th percentile, so a little small, but we ovulated late anyhow. The fact that she’s measuring at 20 weeks and 1 day when our doctor considers us 20 weeks and 2 days means that she’s progressing a little fast, but she’s just the right size for when I ovulated.

I’m still concerned as to whether she has a cleft lip or palate. Tom says she doesn’t, that the bone looks straight to him. That put me at ease a little, but since he doesn’t have a medical degree, it’ll only help me sleep. It won’t get rid of the bad dreams. The ultrasound tech wasn’t able to tell us because the doctor has to review everything first. Which is fine. We had the quad screening two weeks ago and still haven’t heard anything, so I think that we’re in the clear for all the serious genetic disorders. (Plus, even I could tell that baby’s spine seemed to be inside her body, not poking out.)

She was the cutest little thing! She kept punching her little fists and kicking her little legs. She wasn’t modest, but she was feisty! And it looks like she has this adorable little upturned nose. I know, you can’t really tell from a stupid ultrasound, but it looked adorable anyway. So shuddup. We even saw her making sucking motions with her mouth and sticking her tongue out at us. It was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. And I can’t wait to meet her. 🙂

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There she is!


Anatomy Scan – 8.5 Days and Counting!

Last week’s doctor’s appointment went well. The baby’s heartbeat is still at a steady 140 beats per minute. We had the blood draw done for the Quad Screening, which was more painful than I thought it would be. Normally I don’t even notice the needle. This time I did. And I looked like someone who’d just tried heroin for the first time, walking out of there with a huge track mark and kind of dazed look on my face. No fainting! And no clumsiness outside my usual range. Meaning, while I ran into doors and walls and tripped over non-existent shoelaces, I didn’t seriously injure myself. Win!

Tom and I will be attending our 20 week ultrasound, aka Anatomy Scan, aka *Gender ultrasound, aka *Sex ultrasound on the 23rd. We’ll be going to the hospital because their ultrasound is like way cooler than the one at the clinic. We’re super excited!

I’m also very nervous. The mood stabilizers I’m on are considered Class C drugs, meaning that some animal studies show that babies exposed to this drug had some abnormalities, but there have been no well-controlled studies in humans and the potential risks are outweighed by the benefits. This drug has been associated with cleft lip/cleft palate. I’m worried that we’re going to see a baby who will need surgery soon after birth. I’m also worried that the baby may have spina bifida (even though we haven’t gotten those test results back yet.) But I’m excited because I want to know if we’re having a little boy or girl. I want to go shopping and buy clothes and bedspreads. And there’s very few gender neutral clothing items out there nowadays and the gender neutral bedding is just plain ugly or boring. Most importantly, I want to start calling baby by his or her name! I want to stop saying “he or she” and “his or her” (and I refuse to call my baby an “it” if at all possible.)

I’ve been feeling little kicks and bubbles pretty often and pretty consistently. Which lets me know that Little One is doing just fine. Hopefully not trying to punish me for that massive piece of german chocolate cake I had for my birthday, but kicking because he or she is a happy baby. I guess we’ll see!

*There is a huge debate on Babycenter as to what we should called the 20-week scan. Some moms get their panties in a twist if someone uses the term “gender” as opposed to the term “sex”. Yes, technically it’s a scan that can tell you which private parts your baby will be born with, not the identity they will feel they fit into in life. But do we really have to freak out about this kind of thing before the child is even aware that biological boys have penises and biological girls have a vagina? I mean, REALLY? Of all the things to have a bug up your ass about, a word? And then some moms are just annoyed because it’s not just to tell you what baby’s packing down there, it’s also to check out the whole body. Thus, “anatomy” scan.


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