Haven’t posted in at least a month, right? Oh well. Some of my favorite bloggers post once in a blue moon and I love them anyway.
Anyway, my emotions are running the gamut of inappropriateness lately. Luckily, I managed to teach myself how to reign those bad boys in and not creep people out. I’m sure you understand how relieving it is to know you’re secretly loathing someone and they haven’t got a clue. You may call it fake. I call it diplomacy. Office politics are incredibly important, especially in a small town. People talk.
But inappropriately high levels of rage aren’t the only happenings. Energy abounds, thoughts race, my odd tic of rocking back and forth while I sit/type/read/write/think/whatever has gotten worse (and people have noticed!) and I am feeling a tad impulsive. Impulsive??!?!?!?!?! Oh no-s! Mania, you may ask? No, dear friends. Something else entirely. And when I am on surer (I hate spelling) footing, I will let you in on the dirty secret.
No. I’m not pregnant.
Rage and energy, are those the end of it? Heavens no, child! ’tis merely the beginning! I’ve been swaying between those fits of rage and energy and happiness to what I can best describe as sloth. The funniest of the 7 Deadly Sins, if you ask me. I mean, c’mon. Who isn’t at least a LITTLE lazy? Back on topic (whatever that may be) I have also been having periods of listlessness, bordering on depression. Had any dangerous thoughts or urges? Not unless you consider watching 10 episodes of King of the Hill dangerous. Personally, I don’t. However, I have been very attracted to Hank as of late. Something about his all-American personality, his being a good dad, and his general struggle with love for his family being expressed just hits me as incredibly sexy.
Moving on! In my current mood, you may be able to tell (if you can, good for you! So perceptive!) my mind is racing with all these thoughts. I have been thinking about buying an easel and oil paints. Why? I can’t even paint. Or draw. I can barely knit and I only know one stitch. Anyhow, I just want to be one of those artsy people. Marci is an artsy person and it drives me crazy! (Btw, Marci! I found one of your pens in my couch. You must have left it Sunday before last.) I’m super super super jealous of Marci because she has so much talent. So does Tom. I wish I had half of that. Then my “work” would at least look passable. What good is it to be mentally ill if you have absolutely no talent for anything outside the box? Am I to be cursed to 100 wpm typing as my only talent? Forever? Barghhhh.
If you’re enjoying this article, I’m very glad. If you aren’t enjoying it, chances are you and I wouldn’t make great friends in real life. I’ve been told that this side of me is charming and funny. And at the risk of sounding conceited, I like it, too. So there.
Anyway, I have a great idea for adding to the blog when I have finally accomplished this thing I’m trying to accomplish. (If you know what it is, keep your trap shut.) So excited!