Now, for a non-scathing post about the Bad relationships.
My mom and I have a good relationship. However, we’ve had our bumps in the road. Naturally! I’m not going into details, but my mid-teenage years were a little rough. It was also difficult to overcome the changes in our relationship when I went off to university. But she’s my mother. We love each other and we’ve worked through it. Our relationship has changed. But I wouldn’t give up any relationship with my mother for anything. I’m excited to see what she’ll be like as a grandmother.
My dad and I have had some pretty bitter fights. Especially in my teen years. I was a good teenager: no drugs, no alcohol, no breaking curfew, no real promiscuity, I got good grades and I was relatively honest. But I got in a serious relationship and wasn’t Daddy’s Little Angel anymore. I was still his little girl, and he still loved me, but it took some time and some really nasty arguments to get over the hurdle. We’re just as close as we’ve ever been. And he’ll be such a cute grandfather.
My husband and I have had some pretty rough times. Duh. We’ve been together for almost 4 years. We worked through it so well that we wound up married. And we’re going to have more fights and more problems. But I’m excited to live our lives together.
Friends in general: I have lost a lot on the way. I’ve thought I lost them and only resolved the problems we had. Every friendship at some point has been pretty crappy. But I’m so blessed that I have the friends I do now. The friends whom I permenately lost along the way were unsupportive, hurt my self-confidence, took advantage of me, or just brought too much drama into my life. I once was friends with a girl who told me (direct quote) “Alicia, I think every girl has one really beautiful thing about her. Yours is your hair.” This same girl also told me I was a slut because I wore a skirt with knee-high boots. Her boyfriend didn’t want her wearing skirts. She also said she didn’t understand why I didn’t like my car until her mommy and daddy bought her a brand new one. When I was thinking about asking her to be a bridesmaid, she kept talking about this guy she hooked up with whose name she couldn’t even remember. I’m not saying the whole thing had to be about me, but I was hoping she’d be happy for me. She couldn’t take two minutes to listen to me talk about the wedding, even to ask her to be a part of it. I let that one fall by the wayside. (Telling the story about that girl kind of feels like writing an article for Cosmo.)
Ex boyfriends? Yeah. They were bad relationships. Abusive and rough and emotionally damaging. But I can’t blame the guys. I gave as good as I got. I’m not saying I deserved it. No one deserves to be abused. I’m just saying that I didn’t fall over and take it. I fought back and I contributed to the badness of the bad relationships. One of them? We became friends afterwards. We had to move past a lot, and we’re not exactly very close, but we’re in a good place. A place of forgiveness and happiness for each other.
So, yes, there are times when we have bad relationships with the people we love most. And we have bad relationships with people who don’t belong in our lives. But we move on and we keep those who mean the most to us. We fight and argue, but always find a way to come back to the ones who are true friends, true family, true loved ones.