Relationships must fall into at least one of the above-entitled categories. [In my opinion. Which is as good as fact.] That’s not to say a relationship cannot fit into two. Some even fit into all three at different points.
I have good relationships with my whole family, actually.
My mom and I have an understanding of each other that few other people can relate to. We know each other’s sense of style, our bad habits, our taste in food/books/movies, and we know each other’s entire history. We have the same emotional problems. The way she and my dad met, fell in love, and got married is shockingly similar to how I met, fell in love with, and married Tom. It’s something that has amused both of us. We love and support each other in everything and through everything. My mom loves with all her heart, trusts easily, forgives easily, and feels deeply for the pain of others. She will go to any extreme to help someone who needs her. She makes sacrifices without hesitation. She prays for her enemies. She believes in God with all her heart and honestly hopes He will reach out and help the people she prays for. She holds no grudges. However, she would kill anyone who hurt me or my brother or my father.
My dad and I relate to each other pretty well. At least, when I’m stable. He’s a huge goofball. We have shared interests, similar taste in music, and the exact same sense of humor. He’s always made the effort to understand me, even if he didn’t exactly manage to accomplish it. But he never quits trying. And that’s huge. Most people would give up. He’s always willing to explain something to me. It may take him awhile, but you walk away with not just an answer to your question, but an understanding of why that answer is the answer. He has hilarious stories to tell from when he was at university and no shame in telling them. When he tells the stories, he gets really animated and it’s almost more fun to watch him than to listen.
My brother… see a previous post.
I have a good relationship with my husband, too. Everything just seems to work out. We click. We accept each other, even if we don’t always understand the other. We never run out of things to talk about. We can spend entire days just sitting around doing nothing and be content. We can sit in silence and still be happy. We have an undeniable chemistry. We laugh all the time. At least once a day every day, we laugh together. We play word games, break out into song and dance spontaneously, silently and randomly have staring competitions, and seem to agree that I don’t have to ever do any housework. And yet he still loves me. 😛 Like my father, he tries to understand me. Even when he can’t fully grasp it, he still tries and doesn’t give up. When he holds me, I feel warm and safe.
The first friend I think of is Marci. I think our relationship has gotten stronger emotionally as of late. We have one major thing in common and it’s incredibly helpful to have someone around who shares that aspect of one’s self. I know it’s been especially helpful to me. I would never presume to assign her feelings to it. We also share a few interests, like blogging and love of clothing. Our strongest shared characteristics are our values. We disagree on how to get there sometimes, but we believe in the same end goal. Also, we are both with the men we plan to spend the rest of our lives with and have major baby joneses. In so many ways, we are completely different. But there’s respect there. She is my most eccentric friend. She’s also the most creative one and the one I talk to most often.
Another friend is Victoria. Much like with Marci, she and I really don’t have a WHOLE lot in common, but we like the same movies, were in school together for 4 years, in Jazz Band for 3, and have stayed friends since graduating. I can say that about only one other person. She’s always been supportive of anything I wanted to do. She’s also fiercely loyal and loving. This girl would do almost anything for her loved ones. She is also fabulous at helping you build your self-confidence back.
Erin, like Victoria, is a high school friend. She and I had almost every class together. And we were in Jazz Band together. Senior year, I had photography while she had IB Art and I would sneak out of class, walk all the way across campus, and crash art class to hang out with her. She’s always been sweet and calm, the kind of person who keeps you grounded without your realizing it. She’s currently dating my husband’s best friend, Ryan. She listens without interrupting. She has no ulterior motives, ever. She has the most honest and trusting heart I have ever known.
And then there’s Alex. Alex is another fiercely loyal person with whom I have almost nothing in common. She’s an emotional rock for her friends. She’s stable and compassionate. I once said of her “When Alex loves you, nobody loves you more than she does.” She held me while I cried over a breakup freshman year of university. We’d known each other two months, tops. She will listen to you gripe for hours, offer helpful suggestions, and won’t judge you or anyone else you talk about when you complain. When I was depressed while we were living together, she’d slip notes under my door just to let me know she cared and was thinking about me.
My husband’s family are wonderful. His mother loves with an open heart, forgives, and accepts you. His sister is another fiercely loyal person. She is constantly working to better herself and loves to help others when they need her. His father is a goofball, just like my dad. Recognizing that in him made my getting to know the family a much easier undertaking.
Stay tuned for Part 2: The Bad. (Not nearly as scathing as you may think, I promise!)